Surreal

A mist hangs over my heart.  


I join in the days activities. I laugh, but the laughter is shallow - not laughter that comes from deep within. 


Life is black and white, at best muted shades of grey.  Though color explodes fireworks - spring greens of trees, blossoms of white, pink, lilac, and fuchsia, and summer breath blows warmth over the earth; there is only winter in my soul.


Winter, it is cold and ice forms on the lake of my heart, grief cracks that ice with the heat of my tears.  The tears they are the only thing that keeps my heart beating, no tears and I freeze with this grief.  My heart frozen - no feeling would bring blackness so deep I fear its result.  So weep I will - long and hard, keep my heart soft even under this ice.


I look to the Son - He who will "shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace." Luke 1:79


Though we walk through the darkness of this shadow of death, this loss so terrible, of one so dearly loved - we look to Him to shine on us: to guide day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath to the path of peace.