Fight or flight...some answers

Life is stress-full. Sometimes we live in limbo – often posed between “fight or flight.”

To read more about “fight or flight”, click on this link – http://www.write-out-loud.com/fightorflightresponse.html.

If we stay in this place, this frozen place, caught, stuck - where chemicals are flying, pumping through the bloodstream, chugging, a train on a collision course with itself; we begin to develop anxiety and can become afraid of doing things we had previously been able to do with little or no effort.

My daughter and I visited a paediatrician this afternoon who explained this response to our daughter in a gentle, non-judgemental manner. She explained that these were real physical responses to stress in our lives and that she believed her, that all these responses were true responses.

I loved the way the Doctor talked to her.

She explained that our health may depend on several things - 1) genetic predispositions to certain conditions, (like migraines and stomach issues, acid reflux etc.), 2) character (the type of personality we have), 3) the things that happen to us that we have no control over, and 4) that are our mind and bodies are connected. All these factors contribute to how healthy we are throughout our lives. And the Doctor told her more about the fight and flight response.

She said that what going on was perfectly understandable and that she could be helped and that everything would be O.K., that her Mom (that`s me...:) ) had made arrangements for her to see other people who could help her as well.

When we left our daughter was so happy, `Mom,`` she said to me, ``the doctor was so-o-o positive. I`ve got my life back!``

I can assure you I felt a great deal of relief too. First of all she was getting medication that would help heal the stomach issues, secondly, she confirmed that migraines are a part of the picture and we have to keep watch, thirdly, she reassured me, the concerned, sometimes anxious Mom, that I had done everything right and in a timely manner. And finally, beautifully, there was no shame attached to any of it!

Having suffered from migraines for well over thirty years now, I have had so many people tell me that I was making myself sick, when migraines are in fact, a genetically inherited neurological disease. I had often been filled with shame and sometimes self-loathing for making myself so sick - when that was never the case at all! I am only now being given the tools to deal with all that shame and guilt heaped upon me – probably by well meaning people.

What a gift for our daughter to know that what she feels is real, not imaginary, and that there is help to be had - that she will be given whatever tools are necessary to help with both the physical and emotional elements of what has been happening to her!!! How glad I am.

We know now better than ever in this day and age the mind-body connection. What we need to continue to do is release people from feeling that they are the sole cause of their physical maladies and thus release them the terrible burden of shame, which in turn releases them emotionally. (Mother-rant over and out.)

What a day it has been. It is a journey. It is a road, and there will be curves and bumps ahead. There are more appointments ahead, counsellors and Doctors to be seen.

But we will be O.K. Really.

Let it be so, Jesus, let it be so.