Memories

Memories are fascinating.

They seem to be alive; living breathing creatures.

A lovely memory wends it way into my mind...I pick it up and snuggle down into it. It's like clean laundry, warm, fragrant, and even comforting.

It makes me want to dance, smile, giggle or laugh. It infuses me with energy or makes me lazy with pleasure. I am lost in another time, another place.

Then, suddenly, another kind of memory invades...like a bullet fired it explodes into my chest, it's impact throwing me back against the wall. I look down and there is a gaping hole. Blood is flowing, fast and free.

I whimper, drop down, curl up...go away, go away. I run screaming down the corridors of my mind, horror licking at my heels. What torture this is, this remembering. I am lost in another time, another place.

Memories shape us, mold us, give us perspective. Is my world blue, sad, and dark; or is it rosy, cheery and sunny. Maybe, my world is gray, a nothingness, a monotony, one moment blending into another.

Whatever it does, it is powerful; creeping around the corner, an annoying sibling who jumps out to say "boo"!

It can render us helpless or enable us.

But, I think that memory is also a teacher. It can warn me. It can set a boundary. It can, if I let it, cause me to choose another path.

I choose what memory I focus on. I have this choice. And I can choose to walk away from memories good and bad.

I can leave the past behind, let it be my teacher and I can go forward.

Live my day. Take a deep breath. Love with all my heart. Cry an ocean if I need to. Whirl and twirl and laugh, oh laugh. Call a friend. Say a prayer. Watch the sun cast a glow in my garden. Listen to the rain as it falls.

Because, really, I am here, in this time, and in this place.