Sunday Challenge for 20/20

My niece, blogger, Luna Pie decided to start her own project...20 weeks, loose 20 pounds...

So, she issued a invitation for fellow bloggers, friends, relatives etc. to join in some kind of challenge ourselves and she made several suggestions.

At first I though I would do 20 book recommendations. But on deeper reflection, I thought that for me, it would be the "easy" way out or in to the project... Reading is something I love to do and I've probably read thousands of books in my life time. So finding 20 more or even reporting on 20 that I loved while interesting didn't really offer me a significant challenge.

When I was out west visiting my sister in March she took me to her Book Club. They were discussing a book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. In it she explores happiness, how to get it, how to keep it and so on. Having not read the book but intrigued by the subject I listened reflectively to the conversation swirling around me. I came to a rather shocking conclusion. At least it was shocking to me.

Happiness is not even something I have considered much in my life; not even as an option.

I am very familiar with the concepts of suffering and of joy. I grew up learning about and talking about suffering. I grew up learning about the concept of joy; not just everyday joy, but biblical joy.

I turned to my sister and said, "we weren't taught to be happy were we, or even that being happy is O.K.???" She agreed.

Now, don't get me wrong, my parents were, in my opinion, wonderful. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination; but loving, thoughtful, genuinely caring people. And I do think that they liked us to be "happy." But the object of our lives, so I grew up believing both in church and at home was that holiness was more important than happiness. Holiness was being "like Jesus;" which is a great idea; but I don't think that a serious, unhappy Jesus is the Jesus that is the Jesus of the Bible.

Certainly, He suffered, immensely, greatly, incomparably. But I also think that He laughed, danced and enjoyed life. He made wine at a wedding for goodness sakes. And He had not just joy, but ordinary, everyday happiness.

I have certainly suffered in my life; physically, emotionally, mentally; all of it. I have had flashes of joy, laughter and delight.

But I wouldn't say I have been particularly happy, nor have I ever made it point to try to be happy.

Now I know that there are no guarantees in life. Suffering, can and does come, to all of us.

I have seen my dear friend's daughter contract leukemia at the age of 10 months and die at the age of three. My own sweet wee niece died when she was five years old, oh, the agony of the that. My beloved son, who was such a longed for, long awaited child and who is so very dearly loved, has veered of the straight path into a life lived largely to his own destruction. I've been divorced. Our darling daughter has numerous learning disabilities. Another so very much loved niece in her late twenties, is, courageously, bravely, fighting cancer. Sometimes, there is just too much pain.

But there is happiness too. And I mean to find it. Yes, to actually pursue it.

Not that I am a miserable person, I do so love to have fun and to laugh. But I am coming to believe that happiness can and should be something that I can and will look for.

So my 20/20 project, will be my own "happiness project." For 20 weeks I will look for and I will find 20 "somethings" that make me the everyday kind of happy.

It is a challenge that I can sink my teeth into, look forward to.

And that makes me feel, well, happy.