1) I enjoyed the first day of summer holidays with my daughter.
2) I am feeling better today.
3) I'm thankful for our jaunt to the library to prowl through the stacks and bring home new books/treasures to discover.
4) I enjoyed reading one of my library books and made some popcorn to munch on while reading.
5) I am thankful for a quiet evening.
6) I enjoyed my relaxing yoga workout this evening.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I'm Thankful
1) I'm thankful for a beautiful day, sun shining, blue skies.
2) I'm grateful for a comfortable bed to rest on while I'm in the throes of a nasty headache.
3) I'm thankful for people who care about how I'm feeling today.
4) I'm grateful for ice-packs to put on my throbbing temples.
5) I'm thankful that tomorrow is another day, one that I'm hoping will be pain free.
2) I'm grateful for a comfortable bed to rest on while I'm in the throes of a nasty headache.
3) I'm thankful for people who care about how I'm feeling today.
4) I'm grateful for ice-packs to put on my throbbing temples.
5) I'm thankful that tomorrow is another day, one that I'm hoping will be pain free.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Gratitude Week...or finding 5 things to be thankful for...
As a part of my happiness project each day for the next week I will post things 5 things I am grateful or thankful for that happened that day...
So - today's list -
1)I am grateful that even though I felt really unwell and yucky today, I still did 5 miles, my yoga, three loads of laundry and made dinner!
2) I am thankful that my husband bought the gift cards for the teachers as I was unable to get out of the house...thanks, my love!
3) My daughter got over her extreme (and we're talking crying, hysteria and weeping, wailing and moaning) nerves and was able to perform part of her tap dance in her class. Way to go sweet girl!
4) I am thankful for flushing toilets on each floor of the house..."nuff said."
5) I am so grateful for a wonderful, and long overdue conversation with a very dear friend!
So - today's list -
1)I am grateful that even though I felt really unwell and yucky today, I still did 5 miles, my yoga, three loads of laundry and made dinner!
2) I am thankful that my husband bought the gift cards for the teachers as I was unable to get out of the house...thanks, my love!
3) My daughter got over her extreme (and we're talking crying, hysteria and weeping, wailing and moaning) nerves and was able to perform part of her tap dance in her class. Way to go sweet girl!
4) I am thankful for flushing toilets on each floor of the house..."nuff said."
5) I am so grateful for a wonderful, and long overdue conversation with a very dear friend!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Happiness Project...
I love the feeling of accomplishment, it makes me feel happy.
So, all my life I've known the importance of exercise...it's good for your body, good for your soul, good for your spirit.
It activates the endorphins in your brain. It's that feel good chemical that gets fired up when you crank up the work-out.
Why then, didn't I do it??? The optimism of youth? Laziness? Couldn't care less? Lack of discipline? Probably, at different times, all or any of the above...but now I've aged...oooh scary thought.
My dearest Dad died of heart disease. My brother had a heart attack at the age of 48. There is heart disease in aunts and uncles of mine. However, none of this had ever made a difference.
I would exercise every now and then, very sporadicly, go like crazy and then give up. But over the past few months I've been watching my friends. One of them works full-time outside of the home, she gets up at 5 a.m. to exercise before she goes to work! For some reason, after talking to her, something kicked in, I was suddenly motivated. Another friend, a stay at homer like myself has been consistently exercising for a couple of years, and this too, motivated me.
Gretchen Rubin, in her Manifesto of Happiness says that "the body matters." I think this is true. As women, we are particularly prone to self-criticism when it come to our physical bodies. Our culture as a whole is brutally cruel. We are constantly bombarded with female "perfection," and Hollywood gives us glaring examples of how that perfectionism is portrayed. We see fake boobs, faces lifted almost beyond recognition, bodies thin and often emaciated. Magazine covers boast beautiful faces, no wrinkles or lines, perfect skin, perfect hair. It's tough to be a woman.
And then, there are women like you and me. We are not perfect. We see our lines and our imperfections. We struggle with weight issues, or whether what we have is "big" enough or "small" enough. The funny thing is history tells us different stories, there was a time when thin was not "in." Even today, in some countries, generous, full figures are the "it" shapes.
So, I think that happiness comes when we, finally, accept the body we're in, when we come to fully appreciate our individual uniqueness. When the glow we have comes from the beauty that shines within through all our seeming imperfections.
In that acceptance, also comes the recognition that my body is a gift. In it I live and move and have my being. My body also houses my spirit, it is the eternal part of me; through it I love my family, work at the things I love, affect change in and around my world. In caring for my body, I care for myself, for my family, for my world.
I think perhaps, that this (along with watching my friends) is what pushed me to begin to exercise and to become consistent doing it. I want to be here, for my family, for my children, my friends. I want to be healthier, to feel fully alive. I want to rid myself of the blues that sometimes hang over me like a dark, threatening cloud. I want to have energy, verve and joy in everyday living. I think I can do this better when I am fit.
So, as of July 1, I will have been exercising for a full 6 months, at least 4-6 times a week! This is an enormous accomplishment. I feel much better, I enjoy (most days) getting up, putting on that work-out garb and doing my thing.
Revel in your body, rejoice in it, exercise it, move it; get up, walk, jump, hop, dance, skip. Be happy.
This is your life, lived in your body; live it to the fullest!
So, all my life I've known the importance of exercise...it's good for your body, good for your soul, good for your spirit.
It activates the endorphins in your brain. It's that feel good chemical that gets fired up when you crank up the work-out.
Why then, didn't I do it??? The optimism of youth? Laziness? Couldn't care less? Lack of discipline? Probably, at different times, all or any of the above...but now I've aged...oooh scary thought.
My dearest Dad died of heart disease. My brother had a heart attack at the age of 48. There is heart disease in aunts and uncles of mine. However, none of this had ever made a difference.
I would exercise every now and then, very sporadicly, go like crazy and then give up. But over the past few months I've been watching my friends. One of them works full-time outside of the home, she gets up at 5 a.m. to exercise before she goes to work! For some reason, after talking to her, something kicked in, I was suddenly motivated. Another friend, a stay at homer like myself has been consistently exercising for a couple of years, and this too, motivated me.
Gretchen Rubin, in her Manifesto of Happiness says that "the body matters." I think this is true. As women, we are particularly prone to self-criticism when it come to our physical bodies. Our culture as a whole is brutally cruel. We are constantly bombarded with female "perfection," and Hollywood gives us glaring examples of how that perfectionism is portrayed. We see fake boobs, faces lifted almost beyond recognition, bodies thin and often emaciated. Magazine covers boast beautiful faces, no wrinkles or lines, perfect skin, perfect hair. It's tough to be a woman.
And then, there are women like you and me. We are not perfect. We see our lines and our imperfections. We struggle with weight issues, or whether what we have is "big" enough or "small" enough. The funny thing is history tells us different stories, there was a time when thin was not "in." Even today, in some countries, generous, full figures are the "it" shapes.
So, I think that happiness comes when we, finally, accept the body we're in, when we come to fully appreciate our individual uniqueness. When the glow we have comes from the beauty that shines within through all our seeming imperfections.
In that acceptance, also comes the recognition that my body is a gift. In it I live and move and have my being. My body also houses my spirit, it is the eternal part of me; through it I love my family, work at the things I love, affect change in and around my world. In caring for my body, I care for myself, for my family, for my world.
I think perhaps, that this (along with watching my friends) is what pushed me to begin to exercise and to become consistent doing it. I want to be here, for my family, for my children, my friends. I want to be healthier, to feel fully alive. I want to rid myself of the blues that sometimes hang over me like a dark, threatening cloud. I want to have energy, verve and joy in everyday living. I think I can do this better when I am fit.
So, as of July 1, I will have been exercising for a full 6 months, at least 4-6 times a week! This is an enormous accomplishment. I feel much better, I enjoy (most days) getting up, putting on that work-out garb and doing my thing.
Revel in your body, rejoice in it, exercise it, move it; get up, walk, jump, hop, dance, skip. Be happy.
This is your life, lived in your body; live it to the fullest!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Fame
Yesterday, I took my iced coffee out onto the deck to sit with hubby.
In a hushed voice he told me that two doors down our neighbor who happens to be a drummer was being filmed/interviewed in his backyard.
Like a curious voyeur I peeked over our BBQ and peered through the curtain of our flowered hanging baskets. I called our daughter out and she too spied on our neighbor, watching the process with delight. She struck a pose in case somehow she would get in the picture and be on T.V. We laughed with her, smiling at her antics.
From time to time we would stand up and look over and report to one another about what was going on. We watched our famous neighbor kicking back in his chair, gesticulating, imitating drumming motions, then talking with his hands.
It's hard to decipher what fame has given him other than notoriety. His marriage has ended in divorce and his son is rather wild right now. But that could be any of us and often is.
Upon reflection I decided my life is good even with its attending heartaches. I have no need for fame. I've suffered the same blows as my neighbor, first marriage ending in divorce, a son on the wild side.
That's it I think - there are the common realities that we all experience regardless of who we are. I want to be satisfied with my life, even happy. If I constantly compare myself to "the Jones", I only end up with a nagging dissatisfaction or a raging greed to better my circumstances, so there is no contentment. And contentment, I think is a good thing, whoever, and wherever I am.
In a hushed voice he told me that two doors down our neighbor who happens to be a drummer was being filmed/interviewed in his backyard.
Like a curious voyeur I peeked over our BBQ and peered through the curtain of our flowered hanging baskets. I called our daughter out and she too spied on our neighbor, watching the process with delight. She struck a pose in case somehow she would get in the picture and be on T.V. We laughed with her, smiling at her antics.
From time to time we would stand up and look over and report to one another about what was going on. We watched our famous neighbor kicking back in his chair, gesticulating, imitating drumming motions, then talking with his hands.
It's hard to decipher what fame has given him other than notoriety. His marriage has ended in divorce and his son is rather wild right now. But that could be any of us and often is.
Upon reflection I decided my life is good even with its attending heartaches. I have no need for fame. I've suffered the same blows as my neighbor, first marriage ending in divorce, a son on the wild side.
That's it I think - there are the common realities that we all experience regardless of who we are. I want to be satisfied with my life, even happy. If I constantly compare myself to "the Jones", I only end up with a nagging dissatisfaction or a raging greed to better my circumstances, so there is no contentment. And contentment, I think is a good thing, whoever, and wherever I am.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
20/20 My Happiness Project
This past week I lost my voice (I contracted laryngitis) and it was a thought-provoking experience. Usually, when I am not speaking to someone, it is, I'm sad to say because I am angry, or ticked off. Or perhaps I've been hurt by someone so I retreat into a cave of silence, build walls of distance as thick as concrete and as seemingly impenetrable.
But this forced quiet brought me a curious sense of peace. It taught me the value of quietude.
I was happy, reflective.
I could not engage in any conflict that took place between my husband and daughter. I had to remain an observer, somewhat detached from the intense emotion of the moment, the energy pulsating around me did not draw me in.
Certainly, I missed the laughter, the joking, the day to day discourse normally shared with my family. I missed talking with my friends. I found I had to "save up," like money collecting in the bank, the things that I wanted to pass on or the events that had happened.
But the quiet gave me the time to let my thoughts come together with clarity, to sort through issues that had been been pressing in on me. Piling my thoughts like laundry, separating the dark, somber thoughts from the contrasting white ones, loading the gentle softer colors into different baskets, giving each thought a context, a place. This is the gift of quiet.
My sister-in-law once gave me a framed picture of a photograph that she had taken. It is of a treed path, sunshine casting lights on that path as it goes into the distance. It is tranquil, inviting, and filled with mystery. Perhaps, you hear the song-bird, or the trees rustling in the wind. You feel the cool of the covered path and the warmth caressing you as you walk through the rays of sunshine. This is happiness of quiet.
Then there is the quiet happiness of being. Together. Sitting together reading, engrossed in a good book, the spider web of words weaving tales of history, intrigue, tragedy, love, mystery or romance. Being outside on our deck side by side drinking a homemade iced coffee; soaking up the sights, sounds and smells of our neighborhood. Watching the creamy clouds skittering across the blues of the skies. Hearing the trees in wind, seeing them swaying gently to a music all of their own. Inhaling the sweet fragrance of our lilac trees. Listening to lawns being mowed, fresh smells the grass newly cut. Curling up in our family room, watching old movies or old TV series that we've collected, laughing or crying or being caught up in the stories being told. Eating popcorn, richly buttered, warm and lightly salted, these are moments of quiet happiness indeed.
The happiness of quiet is in the dark velvet blanket of the sky with glittering, twinkling stars. It is knowing in the quietness that there is surely Someone bigger than me, that the Heavens though sometimes also silent, have answers and that the questions that are constellations of doubt will one day be swept away by the look of absolute Love.
In quietness we learn to listen, really listen. We learn to hear what isn't being said.
I am enthralled by all I have to learn, to discover...it makes me, happy.
Shhh....listen with me to all that the quiet has to teach us about happiness.
But this forced quiet brought me a curious sense of peace. It taught me the value of quietude.
I was happy, reflective.
I could not engage in any conflict that took place between my husband and daughter. I had to remain an observer, somewhat detached from the intense emotion of the moment, the energy pulsating around me did not draw me in.
Certainly, I missed the laughter, the joking, the day to day discourse normally shared with my family. I missed talking with my friends. I found I had to "save up," like money collecting in the bank, the things that I wanted to pass on or the events that had happened.
But the quiet gave me the time to let my thoughts come together with clarity, to sort through issues that had been been pressing in on me. Piling my thoughts like laundry, separating the dark, somber thoughts from the contrasting white ones, loading the gentle softer colors into different baskets, giving each thought a context, a place. This is the gift of quiet.
My sister-in-law once gave me a framed picture of a photograph that she had taken. It is of a treed path, sunshine casting lights on that path as it goes into the distance. It is tranquil, inviting, and filled with mystery. Perhaps, you hear the song-bird, or the trees rustling in the wind. You feel the cool of the covered path and the warmth caressing you as you walk through the rays of sunshine. This is happiness of quiet.
Then there is the quiet happiness of being. Together. Sitting together reading, engrossed in a good book, the spider web of words weaving tales of history, intrigue, tragedy, love, mystery or romance. Being outside on our deck side by side drinking a homemade iced coffee; soaking up the sights, sounds and smells of our neighborhood. Watching the creamy clouds skittering across the blues of the skies. Hearing the trees in wind, seeing them swaying gently to a music all of their own. Inhaling the sweet fragrance of our lilac trees. Listening to lawns being mowed, fresh smells the grass newly cut. Curling up in our family room, watching old movies or old TV series that we've collected, laughing or crying or being caught up in the stories being told. Eating popcorn, richly buttered, warm and lightly salted, these are moments of quiet happiness indeed.
The happiness of quiet is in the dark velvet blanket of the sky with glittering, twinkling stars. It is knowing in the quietness that there is surely Someone bigger than me, that the Heavens though sometimes also silent, have answers and that the questions that are constellations of doubt will one day be swept away by the look of absolute Love.
In quietness we learn to listen, really listen. We learn to hear what isn't being said.
I am enthralled by all I have to learn, to discover...it makes me, happy.
Shhh....listen with me to all that the quiet has to teach us about happiness.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunday - My Happiness Project
I went downtown this past Monday, a trip to Yorkville with my girlfriend. This adventure made me, by the way, happy...
As we were meandering through the shops we saw all manner of fun "stuff" and in a paper store we found cocktail napkins with sayings that made us giggle and guffaw. I found one napkin set and exclaimed to my friend "Look at this, have you got paper?, a pen???? I have to write this down for my blog on happiness." The cocktail napkin quoted Ben Franklin as saying "Wine is proof God loves us and want us to be happy." Well, I hooted over that one!
Happiness that day was drunk with the wine of the sunshine, of the conversation, of the laughter, and even of the serious moments, of the deep connection with my very dear friend.
It was a good day, a day to be remembered, and treasured. A day of happiness to packed in my trunk of memories to be brought out and reveled over on a darker day.
As I sit here mulling this over, I am thinking that perhaps that is part of the secret of happiness. Perhaps, happiness is a beautiful necklace, stored in a box of some kind, that has been beaded one by one with beautiful jewels, exquisite jewels, placed ever so lovingly on the necklace of my life, to brought out and enjoyed.
The pearls of happiness strung on my necklace have come from irritating, seemingly unending circumstances that I had thought I could not bear, but upon retrospect have brought the happiness of knowing that I am perhaps a wiser and gentler person because of those very irritations.
The diamonds of happiness on my necklace are the perplexing, crushing loads that have brought me great and deep despair, but yet have yielded I hope, the sparkle of compassion and kindness to others.
The aquamarines on my necklace blue with the delight of happiness I feel when I swimming, splashing, and laughing with the ones I love. The feeling of rolling over onto my back and gazing into the magnificent azure of the sky dotted with fluffy clouds imitating anything your imagination can conjure up.
The green of emeralds. Solid, enduring, life-giving friendships. Each one unique, and precious; some come and gone, some grown stronger, forged through immense pain and great euphoria never to fade as a distant memory.
The incredible deep blue of sapphires. My tears, rivers, oceans of them...wept for myself, my children, my family, my friends, and the world. Didn't a great Book once say that those that sow in tears will reap in joy! Tears are jewels of both our sorrow and our happiness embedded into our very beings.
The murky quiet beauty of an opal. White with glints of pink and blue almost pearl-like but more colorful than that. The opal is the mystery in my life, the not knowing, the whys, and the hard, granite questions. The glints of color, the pinks and the blues and the zig-zag of gold weaving patterns through the opal - is the happiness of knowing that I don't really, really have to know the whys and wherefores after all, and that I can live with happiness in the midst of mysteries. I may not always like the mystery, but I can be happy nevertheless.
The ruby, blood red and brilliant.
Family. My heart and soul are poured into these so very dear to me. They bring me the most spectacular happiness and the most devastating grief. This is a jewel I would never be without, no matter what the attending sorrow. The joys, the connections, the bonds; these have stretched over time, distance and circumstance of every kind. Almost wordless are the feelings I have for my family. In my family I find love, deep and strong. In my family I find meaning, laughter, and pure joy. There are at times fierce anger and moments of conflict so quake-deep it seems beyond repair, yet repair it does. This jewel glitters on my necklace most brightly I think.
So I think I'll end here...hang this necklace on my neck, not tuck it away....remind myself of all the jewels of happiness that I have.
I am a rich woman.
What about you?
As we were meandering through the shops we saw all manner of fun "stuff" and in a paper store we found cocktail napkins with sayings that made us giggle and guffaw. I found one napkin set and exclaimed to my friend "Look at this, have you got paper?, a pen???? I have to write this down for my blog on happiness." The cocktail napkin quoted Ben Franklin as saying "Wine is proof God loves us and want us to be happy." Well, I hooted over that one!
Happiness that day was drunk with the wine of the sunshine, of the conversation, of the laughter, and even of the serious moments, of the deep connection with my very dear friend.
It was a good day, a day to be remembered, and treasured. A day of happiness to packed in my trunk of memories to be brought out and reveled over on a darker day.
As I sit here mulling this over, I am thinking that perhaps that is part of the secret of happiness. Perhaps, happiness is a beautiful necklace, stored in a box of some kind, that has been beaded one by one with beautiful jewels, exquisite jewels, placed ever so lovingly on the necklace of my life, to brought out and enjoyed.
The pearls of happiness strung on my necklace have come from irritating, seemingly unending circumstances that I had thought I could not bear, but upon retrospect have brought the happiness of knowing that I am perhaps a wiser and gentler person because of those very irritations.
The diamonds of happiness on my necklace are the perplexing, crushing loads that have brought me great and deep despair, but yet have yielded I hope, the sparkle of compassion and kindness to others.
The aquamarines on my necklace blue with the delight of happiness I feel when I swimming, splashing, and laughing with the ones I love. The feeling of rolling over onto my back and gazing into the magnificent azure of the sky dotted with fluffy clouds imitating anything your imagination can conjure up.
The green of emeralds. Solid, enduring, life-giving friendships. Each one unique, and precious; some come and gone, some grown stronger, forged through immense pain and great euphoria never to fade as a distant memory.
The incredible deep blue of sapphires. My tears, rivers, oceans of them...wept for myself, my children, my family, my friends, and the world. Didn't a great Book once say that those that sow in tears will reap in joy! Tears are jewels of both our sorrow and our happiness embedded into our very beings.
The murky quiet beauty of an opal. White with glints of pink and blue almost pearl-like but more colorful than that. The opal is the mystery in my life, the not knowing, the whys, and the hard, granite questions. The glints of color, the pinks and the blues and the zig-zag of gold weaving patterns through the opal - is the happiness of knowing that I don't really, really have to know the whys and wherefores after all, and that I can live with happiness in the midst of mysteries. I may not always like the mystery, but I can be happy nevertheless.
The ruby, blood red and brilliant.
Family. My heart and soul are poured into these so very dear to me. They bring me the most spectacular happiness and the most devastating grief. This is a jewel I would never be without, no matter what the attending sorrow. The joys, the connections, the bonds; these have stretched over time, distance and circumstance of every kind. Almost wordless are the feelings I have for my family. In my family I find love, deep and strong. In my family I find meaning, laughter, and pure joy. There are at times fierce anger and moments of conflict so quake-deep it seems beyond repair, yet repair it does. This jewel glitters on my necklace most brightly I think.
So I think I'll end here...hang this necklace on my neck, not tuck it away....remind myself of all the jewels of happiness that I have.
I am a rich woman.
What about you?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Sunday Challenge for 20/20 - My Happiness Project
I am on a journey. A journey to happiness.
So, let the challenge begin!
Happiness can be mine...oh yes, it can...
But how to start???
Well, I did go out and purchase the book "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin as she is the one who got me thinking "happy" in the first place. And I have pondered and thought and pondered and thought some more.
To begin with, I will post a quote from Gretchen's "Happiness Toolbox" (found on her website), called the "Happiness Manifesto." These points will be things that I will be considering as I craft my days around the thoughts of happiness.
This week, I thought about my attitude, the way I see the world from day to day. I asked myself this question, "On what am I focusing my thoughts?" "Am I thinking happy thoughts, good thoughts, pleasant thoughts, uplifting thoughts...or is my FOCUS negative???"
I cannot and will not be in denial, pretend that everything is wonderful if it is not. I will not play that kind of game. However, it is in my power to shift my thoughts away from the things that bring me down. It is also in my power, to express those things (the sad, heart-rending, soul-bending things) so that I can be free to breathe in and to partake in the happiness that is there waiting for me to enjoy. Things of which I am often not even aware.
My beloved sister had sent me, years ago, some pages from a treasure, a little book called "Telling Secrets" by Frederich Buechner. He addresses this lack of awareness: "Consider...those dwarves in C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle. They are huddled togehter in what they think is a cramped, dark, stable where, like the dungeon of the Little Ease, there is hardly any room to move or breathe. The truth of it, you will remember, is that they are not in any such place at all. Instead they are in the midst of an endless green meadow where the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Aslan himself stands there offering them refreshments and freedom from their self-imprisonment, the great golden Lion who moves through Lewis's fairytale the way the fierce power of God moves through our world of Cowardly Lions - to be called "Dear heart" by whom is an everlasting blessing... But the dwarves see none of this. About all they can is is each other.
Now transform that scene. It is not Lewis's dwarves who are gathered together. It is people very much like you and me."
As Gretchen says, in her Manifesto - "you are not happy unless you think you are happy."
So this week, I gathered my wandering thoughts, as dogs nipping at the heels of horses running wild. I corralled those thoughts and turned them to happiness. I do not want to be one of those dwarves who cannot see the beauty right in front of them. And it made a difference, it really did... There were far more moments and far more hours where there was the light, delightful feeling of happiness. Because I thought I was happy I felt happy...
There are, still, of course, concerns and burdens. But in the midst of all that worries me, freaks me out, causes me to grieve deeply and completely, light is breaking through.
Let me share another quote by Buechner that has been so helpful...
"This...was a rule that I had no less devastatingly laid down for myself, and it was this: that I had no right to be happy unless the people I loved - especially my children - were happy too. I have come to believe that is not true. (Me here: this was a riveting insight and one that after years of having these pages sent to me I can finally begin to believe...) I believe instead that we all of us have not only the right to be happy no matter what but also a kind of scared commission to be happy - in the sense of being free to breathe and to move, in the sense of being able to bless our own lives, even the sad times of our own lives, because through all our times we can learn and grow, and through all our times, if we keep our ears open, God speaks to us his saving word....I have come to believe that to be happy inside ourselves - to be less and less as the years go by in the dungeon the the Little Ease and more and more in still chapel where beyond all understanding there is peace - is in the long run the the best we can do both for ourselves and for the people closet to us."
!!! Did you catch that last phrase!??!!
Being happy is a gift I give myself and I can give it to those I love.
So join me on this journey.
This journey of happiness.
So, let the challenge begin!
Happiness can be mine...oh yes, it can...
But how to start???
Well, I did go out and purchase the book "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin as she is the one who got me thinking "happy" in the first place. And I have pondered and thought and pondered and thought some more.
To begin with, I will post a quote from Gretchen's "Happiness Toolbox" (found on her website), called the "Happiness Manifesto." These points will be things that I will be considering as I craft my days around the thoughts of happiness.
"A Happiness Manifesto
- To be happy, you need to consider feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
- One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
- The days are long, but the years are short.
- You're not happy unless you think you're happy.
- Your body matters.
- Happiness is other people.
- Think about yourself so you can forget yourself.
- "It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light."—G. K. Chesterton
- What's fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa.
- Best is good, better is best.
- Outer order contributes to inner calm.
- Happiness comes not from having more, not from having less, but from wanting what you have.
- You can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like to do.
- "There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy." —Robert Louis Stevenson
- You manage what you measure."
This week, I thought about my attitude, the way I see the world from day to day. I asked myself this question, "On what am I focusing my thoughts?" "Am I thinking happy thoughts, good thoughts, pleasant thoughts, uplifting thoughts...or is my FOCUS negative???"
I cannot and will not be in denial, pretend that everything is wonderful if it is not. I will not play that kind of game. However, it is in my power to shift my thoughts away from the things that bring me down. It is also in my power, to express those things (the sad, heart-rending, soul-bending things) so that I can be free to breathe in and to partake in the happiness that is there waiting for me to enjoy. Things of which I am often not even aware.
My beloved sister had sent me, years ago, some pages from a treasure, a little book called "Telling Secrets" by Frederich Buechner. He addresses this lack of awareness: "Consider...those dwarves in C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle. They are huddled togehter in what they think is a cramped, dark, stable where, like the dungeon of the Little Ease, there is hardly any room to move or breathe. The truth of it, you will remember, is that they are not in any such place at all. Instead they are in the midst of an endless green meadow where the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Aslan himself stands there offering them refreshments and freedom from their self-imprisonment, the great golden Lion who moves through Lewis's fairytale the way the fierce power of God moves through our world of Cowardly Lions - to be called "Dear heart" by whom is an everlasting blessing... But the dwarves see none of this. About all they can is is each other.
Now transform that scene. It is not Lewis's dwarves who are gathered together. It is people very much like you and me."
As Gretchen says, in her Manifesto - "you are not happy unless you think you are happy."
So this week, I gathered my wandering thoughts, as dogs nipping at the heels of horses running wild. I corralled those thoughts and turned them to happiness. I do not want to be one of those dwarves who cannot see the beauty right in front of them. And it made a difference, it really did... There were far more moments and far more hours where there was the light, delightful feeling of happiness. Because I thought I was happy I felt happy...
There are, still, of course, concerns and burdens. But in the midst of all that worries me, freaks me out, causes me to grieve deeply and completely, light is breaking through.
Let me share another quote by Buechner that has been so helpful...
"This...was a rule that I had no less devastatingly laid down for myself, and it was this: that I had no right to be happy unless the people I loved - especially my children - were happy too. I have come to believe that is not true. (Me here: this was a riveting insight and one that after years of having these pages sent to me I can finally begin to believe...) I believe instead that we all of us have not only the right to be happy no matter what but also a kind of scared commission to be happy - in the sense of being free to breathe and to move, in the sense of being able to bless our own lives, even the sad times of our own lives, because through all our times we can learn and grow, and through all our times, if we keep our ears open, God speaks to us his saving word....I have come to believe that to be happy inside ourselves - to be less and less as the years go by in the dungeon the the Little Ease and more and more in still chapel where beyond all understanding there is peace - is in the long run the the best we can do both for ourselves and for the people closet to us."
!!! Did you catch that last phrase!??!!
Being happy is a gift I give myself and I can give it to those I love.
So join me on this journey.
This journey of happiness.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Life is like a Bowl of Mangoes
Mangoes are juicy, sweet, rich and firm. You bite into them and immediately you are transported.
There is pleasure, delight, you can feel the warmth of the sun.
If you cut into one too soon though, it is sour, bitter; you want to spit it right out and never taste it again.
Life is like a bowl of mangoes, sometimes sweet and rich, sometimes bitter and sour.
But when it's good, it's good.
Just like life, good or bitter.
Just like mangoes.
There is pleasure, delight, you can feel the warmth of the sun.
If you cut into one too soon though, it is sour, bitter; you want to spit it right out and never taste it again.
Life is like a bowl of mangoes, sometimes sweet and rich, sometimes bitter and sour.
But when it's good, it's good.
Just like life, good or bitter.
Just like mangoes.
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