We are now three days in to reorienting our girl to "real life." To getting up in the morning, thinking about school, getting ready for school and putting action to the thinking.
The second day in, she gets up, is not feeling that great, gets a little weepy, but when I remind her to gently "not to start that again," she looks at me a bit chagrined and manages to take deep breaths and work on remaining calm.
We get ready, she gets her coat and boots on and off we go. We arrive at school, I walk her in - reminding her to stay calm, that she can do this, if she needs me she can call. I leave her there.
Turn around and walk out the door.
I call hubby at work as soon as I get to the car, when he answers his phone, I don't even bother with Hello, I just jubilantly announce, "no tears!" He laughs. We are glad. So glad.
She comes home on the bus, she is fine. She made it through! She has been brave, worked through some of the anxiety. It is a good moment for her, to know that she can indeed begin again.
We get up again today. She is more anxious today, but we repeat the routine, even try to arrive a bit earlier, to extend the time she spends at school, to give her practice at just "being," to build her confidence, to accept the feelings and let them drift by, not overwhelm her.
I walk her in, she sees the e.a. and off she goes. I speak quietly to the e.a. and then I turn and walk out.
Our girl does it again! Makes it through the day..."the real life" that we all have to go through.
This what it's all about, right? Sometimes we get overwhelmed and would all like to take a holiday from life. But the time comes when, with the help of those who love us, with prayers, with appropriate counselling and so on, we have to step out the door and start again.
Baby steps, baby steps.
One day at a time.
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