It is with a broken heart I come to You tonight, in the hush of the darkness now fallen.
Words have been said, misunderstandings have become mountainous barriers to my friend. She doesn't know if she wants to be my friend anymore. She asked me what was wrong and when I tell her she is deeply offended that I am hurt. I am too sensitive she says. She says she cannot be herself with me.
I hold my heart up to you Jesus, lost as I am in the midst of all this, please take this hurting heart of mine and hold me closely, tenderly and oh so very gently.
Each of us, we are made with the personalities You gave us. I do not want to hurt her, she is appalled that I have been hurt by her words. Our words to sort things out are tangled, barbed wire, two hearts facing off. Can this friendship not bear a sorting through, even though we have long known and loved one another, still hurts are possible; it happens in marriages why would it not also happen in friendship? That is life, the nature of all really close relationships. We speak, are heard and filtered through the lenses of our own experiences. Sometimes, this means we get hurt and hurt others however unintentionally.
I find it desperately and deeply painful that she would consider chucking our friendship in the face of this confrontation. How can this be so?
I am so very tired and weary and there is so much I do not understand. I do not know how to process this.
I do know that I believe with my heart in forgiveness and reconciliation, but how to get from there to here, in this case I am not at all sure.
Perhaps tomorrow things will shift.
For now, I lift my bewildered self in all its confusion, hurt and pain to You.
I am thankful that You do not belittle the state I am in.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
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